The Times/April 2004
British, but we still bat for India

India, the world's biggest democracy, goes to the polls today. Among those watching will be more than a million Indians who live in Britain, the country's largest and most successful minority. Here five of them tell Damian Whitworth what it's like to live here but remain rooted in India.

“ASCOT, WIMBLEDON, THE PALACE É I'VE DONE THEM ALL�

Pinky Lilani, 50, has one of the best contacts books in Britain. She founded the Asian Women of Achievement awards, advises the Department of Trade and Industry and is a cookery writer and demonstrator. She is an Ismaili Muslim and lives in Purley, South London.

I was born in Calcutta and I guess I came from a very privileged family. My grandfather was the Sheriff of Calcutta and when you mentioned this you could get a lot of things done. We had a great social life and entertained a lot. We used to go to the races and the clubs. It was a very sheltered life. We had chauffeurs everywhere we went.

I got married at 23. It was semi-arranged, but the choice was ours. My husband is Indian, from East Africa. He had come to study in Britain and stayed on. So I came to live here in a small house in Purley where I didn't know anyone and there was nobody to ask you out. I was used to going out five times a week. But I was enchanted to be in England. It was a wonderful adventure. My husband has a business with his brothers exporting to East Africa. Our boys are 22 and 24 and very British. One has just joined an American investment bank. The other is doing a masters in hotel management.

At the same time they are also very Indian. The men in my house are not like most British men. They don't wash up or cook or anything like that. I do everything for them. I've spoilt them in that way. The boys are very aware of their Asian roots, especially the importance of the family and respect and doing things for older people. They would never answer back.

I go to India once a year at least and my parents come here every two years. It's unlikely I would go back to live there, though I would like to spend more time there. As you get older it's much harder here. I find it such a drag to go and do all my own shopping. In India you have incredible help. That's what I miss most about living in England. In the morning in India the tea is made for me, and by the time I go back into my bedroom my bed is made, my clothes ironed. And you wonder: “Why am I living in Britain?�

I didn't know how to cook when I arrived in Britain because we had one of the best chefs in Calcutta. But I taught myself. Talking about Indian food is a very nice way of explaining our culture to people; why hospitality is important and family ties are important. When I came here I really wanted to go to Ascot, Wimbledon and the Palace and Downing Street. I've done them all now. I'm going to Buckingham Palace for a tea party with the Queen and I've been to Downing Street because Cherie is my patron for the awards. I find “networker� a bit of a pejorative term. I think of them as more than just contacts in my book. I would have them over for dinner.

I feel very British and also very conscious that I am an Indian living in Britain. I think British understanding of India is improving.

I feel slightly disappointed that many Indians here have remained enormously insular. Even though a lot have been to university here, all their friends are Asians. I think integration is at a superficial level. There is ghettoisation. You go to these pockets and you feel that they don't live in Britain. The reason I love living in Britain is meeting all sorts of different people.

The funny thing about British people is that no one invites you to their home unless you know them quite well. I will invite someone on principle if I meet them and I like them. Now, I'm going to make you some spicy Bombay potatoes. In India you could never go to someone's house and go away without eating something.